Realities

I had the privilege to visit Petra last week. The scenes were breathtaking. The sense of history and culture is almost overwhelming. It’s something that we really lose out on living in the USA, where everything is diverse, fluid, and brand new.

But believe it or not, the scenery of Petra is not what still rings in my memory.

It’s the locals. The bedouins who protect and look after their history. The pride they take in it. The patience they have with visitors, from all around the world, who come to their land and complain about the heat.

I’ll never forget how hospitable they were to me. How much their faces lit up when I would greet them with a “Salam.” How authentic their greetings back to me were. It wasn’t just a conditioned response. It had purpose and genuineness to it. They would welcome me for a cup of tea or coffee without knowing a single thing about me. When I couldn’t find the proper words to say in Arabic, they’d pat me on my shoulder and help me discover what I was trying to say.

I saw a boy, when I walked into Petra, sitting in the sun. He had collected rocks from all over the mountain ranges and was selling them. I walked past him. Five hours later, on my way out of Petra, I saw the same boy sitting in the same sun in the same spot where he had been before. I felt terrible for him. I made my way over to him and asked how many rocks I could buy for a few dinars? He told me with a smile on his face, “My house is your’s…whatever you like, take it.” He was so calm. He wasn’t desperate at all. I bought a rock, thanked him for it, and went on my way.

The interesting thing is that I approached him out of pity. But he wasn’t seeking any. He was happy where he was, in that spot in the sun of his home, Petra. He was content. He was at peace. That is his reality. He will get up and do the same thing tomorrow. And that’s his life. He doesn’t ask, “what if?” He doesn’t question his state. He relishes in and embraces it.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to reach that level of content and peace in my own mind, but it was beautiful seeing people who have. That’s true strength. Strangely enough, it was me who left Petra feeling humbled. Ego deflated. Because with all my possessions, I still couldn’t match the value of the experience they gave me. And I’m truly thankful for their love.

Me

I made a change in my life a long time ago to try and not seek attention or love from the people I encounter and meet. To not strive for that. Because for me, when that was my priority in life, it created a void for me. Sure, it’s always a great feeling to be given love. It’s a welcome feeling and I’m humbled by it.

But people are people. I’m no better nor worse. Our emotions fluctuate and change day to day. Even hour to hour. Who am I to count on someone to feel the same amount of joy and commitment towards me 24/7? How foolish would I be to rely on that when I know I’m not nearly capable of offering those same sentiments towards others?

I remember when that would fuel my outlook on a day. Even the simplest compliment would leave a mark in my mind. Or the slightest of slights, or perceived slights.

I stopped allowing people to dictate where my mind and heart could take me for the day. Or at least I’ve tried. It’s made my life a lot easier to be honest. And a lot more simple. Some times I have lapses, and catch myself being strung along by peoples’ (especially with females haha) interactions with me for better or for worse. The highs are high and the lows are low. Haha. That’s when I get in trouble. Thankfully I’ve found my constants. My parents and my faith. As long as I’m resolute and confident in those two things, I won’t need to look elsewhere to find myself. And as I get older hopefully my understanding and appreciation for those two aspects in my life will flourish. Only then can I flourish.